08/11
Realising he was hopelessly lost..
..the man and his cargo of hapless passengers descended until he was able to spot a woman standing in a park below.
He descended further and called out to the woman, “Excuse me, can you help? I promised I would have delivered everyone at their destination over an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”
The woman below promptly replied, “You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 10 metres above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.”
“Are you an Engineer*?” asked the balloonist.
“Indeed I am,” replied the woman. “How did you know?”
“Well,” answered the balloonist, “I know everything you told me is, technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help so far.”
The woman below responded, “You must be an Enterprise Architect*!”
“I am!” replied the man with surprise.
“How could you know?”
“Well,” said the woman, “You have managed to convince a handful of strangers to get on board and despite having risen to a superior vantage point thanks to great quantities of hot air, you don’t really know where you are or where you are going. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect someone beneath you to solve your problems. you are still no better off than before we met, but now, you’ve made it my fault!”
*This joke is based on actual events. The names have been omitted to protect the innocent. The Judge’s decision is final and no correspondence will be entered into. All guarantees are not guaranteed.
The Family Way….
Our own Luke Housego is an expectant father for the next 5 weeks and is in the market for prams that make a statement and stand out from the crowd!
Here’s a little “Nugget” to set the scene…: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahyf-zCDAvE
..and some food for thought that serves the dual masters of “Form “and “Function”..:
Watch out for those kerbs. “Gutter rash” can seriously erode resale value…
This one does 0-100kmh in 2.3sec with a max speed 150kmh. However, being electric “Range Anxiety” (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Range_anxiety) may be an issue..
And my fave…The “Bat Pram” (Suitable for “OD (Over Dimensional) Routes” with OD signage only).
Last, and by no means least, here’s are some fine examples of “starter” dad jokes to help Luke prepare for the journey ahead….
“A slice of apple pie is $7.50 in Jamaica and $8.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie-rates of the Caribbean.”
“To call the whole Elon Musk controversy “Elon-Gate” seems like a bit of a stretch.”
Dad’s Top 10 science and physics definitions:
- Relativity: Family gatherings
- The theory of relativity: Family gatherings should be enjoyable.
- Gravity: What makes it difficult getting out of bed some mornings.
- Time travel: (in either direction) “We’ve discussed this already….” Or, “One day….”
- Black holes: Found in black socks.
- Mass: More than one child (See also: herd, gang, posse, migration, sprawl)
- Critical mass: The maximum number of offspring before you need a larger car / boat / room / yard / house / city.
- Hyperspace: The closest park to the entrance of the Supermarket
- Quark: A. The sound a startled duck makes B. The plausible alternative explanation for the sound a startled parent may make…
- Botany: Invokes juvenile mirth because it SOUNDS like something else…..
Bonus definition:
Doppler effect: Why your “significant other’s” instructions couldn’t be heard whilst you were walking away…