Who would be the winner of a battle between The Terminator and Walker -Texas Ranger?
It’s been the subject of many hours of bar-room, school-yard and online speculation, flaming, hero-worship, soap-boxing, right-fighting, sleepless nights and expensive therapy.
Over the years, we’ve watched as the entertaining interpretations of similar musings and discourse unfold:
- Batman vs Superman
- Predator vs Alien
- Terminator vs Terminator 2
- Turnbull vs Abbott “My dad’s a Policeman”
- Gillard vs Rudd “First Blood”
- Rudd vs Gillard “Encore” (At least Labour demonstrated Gender Balance!)
Noting that, for the bottom three, It could be argued that the involvement of “real” players added an extra dimension of credibility!
The phenomenon shuns the civilised common, altruistic metaphor for the “struggle between good and evil” as, in this scenario, both antagonists are peers.
Instead, the contest becomes purely one of superior force and endurance with the primary objective being, the effective annihilation of the opponent (or at least until either first utters a statement along the lines of, “The Caucus has spoken. I accept the Caucus’ verdict… [for now]”, “There will be no wrecking, no undermining or sniping” [I promise!] or the more visceral, “I’d rather be a loser than a quitter”)..thereby, cementing “Victor” status.
It’s reminiscent of the Roman Games and also applicable to many cash incentive-driven organisational cultures!
#justsayin
To the original question, I would venture an answer..
..It depends..
That’s because, much like this guy and the non-deposit holdings portion of a Commercial Bank’s total lending reserves…Messrs ”Ranger” and “Terminator” aren’t real!
The characters are virtual constructs and not unlike puppets, entirely subject to their master’s agenda (be it a writer, electorate, government, funding source, etc..).
It may be that our ability to differentiate what is real from the alternative peaks at around eight years of age –according to this research.
It begs the question: What happens after that???
As Mr Reid came to know, it seems that if we are suggestible to something untrue being fact, for a long enough period, we may well come to believe it!
It’s the stuff of elections, impeachments and GFCs……
But I digress..
Refocusing on the objects of our original dilemma..:
Recasting the opponents of this epic battle, we have the “real-life” Arnold “Arnie” Schwarzenegger and Carlos Ray “Chuck” Norris.
In the blue corner…
Arnie, AKA “The Terminator”.
- Former “Mr Universe” and 7-time “Mr Olympia” winner.
- The original “Conan the Barbarian” (Sounds like a WWE wrestler’s moniker!)
A proponent and practitioner of serial typecasting, “The Governator” transferred his acting skills to U.S. State Politics to serve as the 38th Governor of California from 2003 to 2011
Quick witted, articulate and armed with a formidable array of popular sound-bites, Arnie could go toe to toe with the best and better many in a “prank-call-off” or Breakfast TV debate.
In the red corner..
(The) Chuck Norris. Tough-guy royalty. The subject of numerous, similar hypothetical face-offs and -by all accounts the winner of every one.
A successful Martial-Artist and creator of “Chun Kuk Do”
The famous victor following a protracted staring competition with the Sun.
Reputed to have refused a role in “The Block” as he wanted it renamed to “Knock Your Block Off” (I happen to think it’s a brilliant bit of wordplay and belies Chuck’s superior intelligence)
In a “Hollywood Tonight” interview alongside Sylvester Stallone, the interviewer asks “Sly” Stallone..
“How many push-ups can you do?”
Stallone responds, “620”
The interviewer then turns to Chuck Norris and says,
“Chuck, what about you?”
Chuck’s response…,
“All of them”
This battle will be over almost before it begins….
Chuck, in a decisive display of “Shock-n-Awe”, whilst attempting to execute a crippling, double-inverted, Montenegrin-guillotine snap-kick will have his view obscured and suffer Spatial Disorientation when a fog-bank of Havana-rolled cigar smoke created by his opponent, instantly engulfs him and obscures his target.
Flabbergasted and (presumably, quite miffed) Chuck will execute a backward, tuck-n-roll (don’t try this at home) to “Kiba-Dachi” ready for the next lethal move.
Cloaked in the dense, acrid smoke created by Havana’s signature export, Arnie will have taken his leave and barely audible, will be the memorable, modernised retake (now a universal meme) based on Douglas MacArthur’s famous, 1942 commitment to the Philippines (a political speech he made from the safety of Melbourne mind you..),
“I’ll be back”.
And as history (fantasy and otherwise) subsequently demonstrated..
..indeed they were. Many times..