“But if you leave me, can I come too?

And if you go, can I come too?”

Some may recall these words from a popular (in 1981) song by Australian Band “Mental as anything”.

It’s been a busy week.

In the words of the (now deceased) Bill “Mr Movies” Collins; of “Golden Age of Hollywood” fame (late night Australian TV movie presentation programme of around the same vintage,)

“Yes..? No..? I think so!”

Interesting fact:

Reg Mombassa  (NZ –born “Christopher O’Doherty”) was the band’s creator, lead guitarist and vocalist.

He was also the creator of distinctive “Mambo” icons and graphics that have spanned the globe and become synonymous with the brand.

Other business…

Here’s a sample of the latest headlines:

No “fake news” here!

And, inextricably linked…

Who could forget this priceless exchange between a Flight Captain and his crew?:

Simon : Gentlemen, I’d like you to meet your captain, Captain Oveur.

Oveur : Gentlemen, welcome aboard.

Simon : Captain, your navigator, Mr. Unger, and your first officer, Mr. Dunn.

Oveur : Unger. (handshake)

Unger : Oveur. (handshake)

Dunn : Oveur. (handshake)

Oveur : Dunn. Gentlemen, let’s get to work.

Simon : Unger, didn’t you serve under Oveur in the Air Force?

Unger : Not directly. Technically, Dunn was under Oveur and I was under Dunn.

Dunn : Yep.

Simon : So, Dunn, you were under Oveur and over Unger.

Unger : Yep.

Oveur : That’s right. Dunn was over Unger and I was over Dunn.

Unger : So, you see, both Dunn and I were under Oveur, even though I was under Dunn.

Oveur : Dunn was over Unger, and I was over Dunn.

And from a macro economic perspective it’s been an interesting week in the markets off the back of favourable US<>China trade deal noises with the all-time-highs set three times over two weeks.

“October: This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.”

-Mark Twain

A “Good Day” to you..

08/11

Realising he was hopelessly lost..

..the man and his cargo of hapless passengers descended until he was able to spot a woman standing in a park below.

He descended further and called out to the woman, “Excuse me, can you help? I promised I would have delivered everyone at their destination over an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The woman below promptly replied, “You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 10 metres above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.”

“Are you an Engineer*?” asked the balloonist.

“Indeed I am,” replied the woman. “How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “I know everything you told me is, technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help so far.”

The woman below responded, “You must be an Enterprise Architect*!”

“I am!” replied the man with surprise.

“How could you know?”

“Well,” said the woman, “You have managed to convince a handful of strangers to get on board and despite having risen to a superior vantage point thanks to great quantities of hot air, you don’t really know where you are or where you are going. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect someone beneath you to solve your problems. you are still no better off than before we met, but now, you’ve made it my fault!”

*This joke is based on actual events. The names have been omitted to protect the innocent. The Judge’s decision is final and no correspondence will be entered into. All guarantees are not guaranteed.

The Family Way….

Our own Luke Housego is an expectant father for the next 5 weeks and is in the market for prams that make a statement and stand out from the crowd!

Here’s a little “Nugget” to set the scene…: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahyf-zCDAvE

..and some food for thought that serves the dual masters of “Form “and “Function”..:

Watch out for those kerbs. “Gutter rash” can seriously erode resale value…

This one does 0-100kmh in 2.3sec with a max speed 150kmh. However, being electric “Range Anxiety” (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Range_anxiety) may be an issue..

And my fave…The “Bat Pram” (Suitable for “OD (Over Dimensional) Routes” with OD signage only).

Last, and by no means least, here’s are some fine examples of “starter” dad jokes to help Luke prepare for the journey ahead….

“A slice of apple pie is $7.50 in Jamaica and $8.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie-rates of the Caribbean.”

“To call the whole Elon Musk controversy “Elon-Gate” seems like a bit of a stretch.”

Dad’s Top 10 science and physics definitions:

1. Relativity: Family gatherings
2. The theory of relativity: Family gatherings should be enjoyable.
3. Gravity: What makes it difficult getting out of bed some mornings.
4. Time travel: (in either direction) “We’ve discussed this already….” Or, “One day….”
5. Black holes: Found in black socks.
6. Mass: More than one child (See also: herd, gang, posse,  migration, sprawl)
7. Critical mass: The maximum number of offspring before you need a larger car / boat / room / yard / house / city.
8. Hyperspace: The closest park to the entrance of the Supermarket
9. Quark: A. The sound a startled duck makes  B. The plausible alternative explanation for the sound a startled parent may make…
10. Botany: Invokes juvenile mirth because it SOUNDS like something else…..

Bonus definition:

           Doppler effect: Why your “significant other’s” instructions couldn’t be heard whilst you were walking away…

01/11

“..and they’re off and racing !!!!”

At 3pm AEDT on Tuesday 5^th, 24 starters at around 580kg each will leave the starting barrier for the 2019 Melbourne Cup

The 13.9-tonne pack will cover 3.2km in around 3min 20sec at an average speed of just under 60kmh!!

A.K.A., “The Race That Stops a Nation”.

This is arguably, more than can be said for any recent Federal Election,

And it’s no wonder.. This is one race that yields a clear winner..–BOOM!

A big plus; the off-field dance moves are truly mesmerising. If not for the stark, lack of coordination and choreography but for that strangely, captivating and fascinating “can’t look away” effect that arises from watching an old fashioned train-wreck movie unfolding in slow motion….

Bruce McAvaney explains THAT video that’s sent social media into a spin!

“A rose by any other name….”

If you’re faced with the dilemma of having to name a Thoroughbred -prepare to be enlightened..

One of the more common conventions has the foal’s name derived from the combination of the sire’s and dam’s names.

If you are still short on ideas, I have included some guidelines from the “Racing Australia Horse Naming Policy” to assist you with possible choices:  

“Point 1 : General

• The maximum length of a name is 18 characters, including spaces and apostrophes.
  • Could this be the antecedent to  Microsoft NetBIOS character length constraints?
  • Surprisingly, “Eighteencharacters” is acceptable (and is, in fact, a registered horse name) but “Eighteen Characters” is not.

• Punctuation marks other than apostrophes are not accepted.
  • The use punctuation is rarely entertained by Gen-Z

• Names may be rejected if they are difficult to pronounce or read.
  • (Especially when attempted while intoxicated)

• Names where the meaning or origin cannot be satisfactorily substantiated will not be accepted.
  • Yoda, R2D2, Kor, The Artist Formerly Known As Prince, etc. 

• Any name, the use of which, would be contrary to law, will not be accepted.
  • “Seniorconstable“, “Justice”, (likely to be encountered post cup-festivities) “smoketoomuch” (https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x36cxnp) etc…  

• The Registrar reserves the right to reduce, extend or add a naming restriction at any time.
  • Bribery (or blackmail) present as interesting options….

• Names cannot be reserved.”
  • Interestingly, winners of major events have their names retired permanently however, the rest can be re-used!

And if horse racing holds no interest for you, here’s a completely different pastime:

Our own AI Architect -Luke Housego posited thus, “Everyone should play this game. It will teach you everything you need to know about how AI can help make better paperclips. Stick with it. It is worth it”

Universal Paperclips https://www.decisionproblem.com/paperclips/index2.html

Perhaps we could put AI to work on paperless clips?

“A horse walks into a bar.

The barman says, “Why the long face…?”

“The horse, (following up on a Seek ad), enters another bar and approaches the manager. “Excuse me, good sir,” the horse says, “are you hiring?”

The manager looks the horse up and down and says, “Sorry, mate!. Why don’t you try the circus?”

The horse, looking puzzled, asks, “Why would the circus need a bartender?”

Meanwhile, in the corner, one dog turns to the other and says,

“Fancy that!

..A talking horse!”’

Please spare a thought for these magnificent beasts and the arena in which, they find themselves…

25/10

And so, the murders began…

(A simple literary device known as “foreshadowing” -designed to pique your interest and draw you into the following content..)

Our team team had an offsite team-building afternoon at the Escape Room Melbourne. We were divided in to two teams and guided into two “locked” themed areas with the objective being, to escape within a 70 minute window, by solving a series of puzzles armed with nothing but the team’s collective wisdom and cunning to decipher the clues.

It was a great experience, so much so in fact, it left me looking for clues to the location of the beer at the pub afterward.

Luckily, the pub had signage.

Here are some team insights:

• We can be simultaneously, imaginative AND uninspired (refer to team names later on)!.
• We are not as moderate and impartial as we may lead others to believe. Our mysterious aloof, and logical exterior belies a cauldron of latent, competitive desire, waiting for an outlet.
• Once “the tiger” was “out of the cage” the inter-team flaming made UXC look like “ABC for kids” and to quote a famous racing car TV commentator from Bathurst 2019: “Once you’re out there you can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube”. This bloke begs to differ…
• Logistics is not our strong suite
• At no stage did a difference of opinion result in fisticuffs, tantrums or walk-outs. It was impressive to observe a team of seasoned professionals (and me) collaborating to solve difficult problems for the common good and walk away friends.    

I invite you to ponder this: “Evian” (The modern ancestor to all bottled water products) when spelt in reverse makes the French word “Naïve” which has the following meanings:

“gullible, trusting, credulous”

Could this be the REAL source of that sweet, sweet “glacial” water….?

Some other funny and (possibly) true facts,

• Only 427 days until Xmas 2020! Not funny, but true….

• Only 375 days (plus change), until the US presidential election. -VERY not funny, -but true.
  • Actual countdown clock here https://www.timeanddate.com/countdown/to?msg=2020%20US%20Presidential%20Election&p0=263&year=2020&month=11&day=3&hour=0&min=0&sec=0&fromtheme=election

• “I always lie” AKA the “Liar’s paradox” -Funny but………?
• The two Architecture team names for Tuesday’s offsite were, “Tepid” and “Luke-warm” -Funny AND true
• Donald Trump wears a wig –Funny and not true..

..or is it?

This masterpiece of investigative journalism may help you decide..:

https://www.rush.co.uk/blog/donald-trump-wig-not/37050

Finally,

Kudos to those who are familiar with the following image and can name the (almost defunct)  brand-name and product it was used to promote:

In true “Melbourne Escape Room” form I will leave you with a thematic (but cryptic) clue here and below: Reinhart’s mettle

I tRUST you will have a “wig-ged” weekend!

Hi All,

This weekend, Diwali/Divali/Deepavali/Dipavali – from Sanskrit meaning “row or series of lights” referring to the Hindu “Festival of Light”- is being celebrated by Indian communities across the country including a big gathering @ Federation Square in Melbourne CBD .

According to Wikipedia, “Divali normally lasts 4-5 days with the third day climax coinciding with the darkest night of the lunisolar month from the Hindi calendar, “Kartika””

The festival symbolises the spiritual victory of “light over darkness / good over evil / knowledge over ignorance”

“Diwali is also a major cultural event for the Hindu, Sikh, Jain, and Buddhist diaspora from the Indian subcontinent”

More on Diwali from Wikipedia

The customary, handmade sweets are exotic, decadent and very tasty!

In some big cities, the fireworks are deafening and their smoke hangs thick in the air….

No doubt, given the themes of enlightenment and goodness, there would be a great number of unwelcome local and international politicians and dignitaries..

..and these folks:

On a not unrelated note, if you are struggling to find a framework to help classify that which may be described as, “undesirable”, “sub-optimal” or, “that which cannot be polished”..

I can’t help you.

However, these gems from Steven Wright may bring a smile to your face instead:

“What’s another word for “Thesaurus”?”

“The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.”

Have a non sub-optimal great weekend!

Hi folks!

The Australian NRL Grand Final is on Sunday and I’m sure that the eighty-or-so thousand bellowing fans will enjoy the spectacle! Given the Sydney Eastern Suburbs home of the Roosters, and the Raiders hailing from the seat of The Australian Federal Government, when compared with a Richmond/Collingwood AFL fan base, there is a high, to very high likelihood of a full set of teeth among them. If your team is playing –good luck!

Alternatively, you may wish to ponder my colleague’s take on Architecture articulated in this slick, thought-provoking production…

However, unlike the DAMA forum this week, there will be no Q&A.

Said colleague is proud eschewer of all things of a physical, sporting nature.

Below, is an infographic in support of my colleague’s perspective on the Grand Final…. Have a great weekend!

Know your architects…..