Another one bites the dust!
This is the final “Happy Friday!” email for 2019 and the decade!.
- Cue emoticons..
- Bust out your Grand-<insert relative here>’s mothballed hanky.
- Set bottom lip to “pout”.
- Assume your very best expression of “Cynical expectancy”.
- All / some / none of the above.
..or rejoice like this guy and his “Best. Stick. Ever”.
Another festive season is upon us..
A single, Gregorian Calendar year (and decade) passes to the join the ranks of “has-beens” and in doing so, (ever so slightly) incrementing the rose-colour in our glasses and reaffirming:
“The older I get..
..The better I was”
Some consolation for this loss may be found in the form of a nascent, “heir to the throne”..
This hitherto, unrealised Year anxiously awaits its turn to briefly discard the cheap, purple-dyed, paper crown, eye-straining, plastic, mini-magnifying glass and duplicated “dad-jokes” of Christmas-Bon-Bon-past and don the once-in-a-lifetime, uniquely numbered, perpetual mantle of “This Year”.
The season brings with it, the (hopefully joyous) annual ceremonies and rituals involving feasts, family and friends (that sometimes remind us of why we only see each other once a year) Did I say that last bit aloud?
Here’s a refresher* -as per “Dad’s Top 10 science and physics definitions” listed in a previous “Happy Friday” edition. (I’ve taken the liberty* of attaching a copy for those that didn’t receive the original)
- Relativity: Family gatherings
- The theory of relativity: Family gatherings should be enjoyable.”
*A reference to a recent conversation “over beers” between a number of us in the EA team; I believe that quoting oneself (and referring to oneself in the third person) qualifies one as a “Tosser” and therefore, eligible for residency in a number of well-known Melbourne and Sydney suburbs that are home to the “aspiring affluent”.
Lest we forget…
Two decades on, “Y2K-the sequel” (AKA PCI-DSS) has proven to be a stayer, with the latest version (3.2.1) of seemingly endless and (very) costly compliance, long surpassing the “Millennium Bug / Y2k bug / Y2k problem” as a major source of revenue for Consultancies, Auditors and QSAs for the time being (at least until 2038)
We have digital currency (approx 97% of currency in circulation) partly to thank for that.
Let’s not mention cryptocurrencies…
Here is a recent example of custom “Paddock Basher” commissioned by a first year, IB Graduate from a well-known tier one PCI-DSS compliance consultancy..:
Here’s a “Top 11” (one louder) courtesy of the 2010s:
- iPad. Initially criticised for its size, the iPad’s success spawned a rush of imitators from the competition and cemented the form-factor’s place in the personal device market. It also marked the next iteration of the “bigger/smaller is better” zeitgeist.
- The self-driving car
- The local video-rental store -vanished
- One-hour photo processing –gone
- Australian car manufacture –no longer “Australian”
- Consumer LED light bulbs
- “Gangnam Style” became the most watched video ever..
- Lady Gaga’s “meat dress” (the ultimate in recyclable fashion –unless you’re a non-red-meat eater..)
- Planking (a generally, beneficial physical exercise except when practiced in Australia where, similar to other Aussie pastimes e.g. croc wrestling, and train surfing, it can sometimes prove fatal..)
- “Crispr” -DNA-editing technology used in 2018 to edit a human embryo which, may result in the elimination of future #8, #9, #10 items..)
My New (Gregorian) Year resolution will be: I will not make a new year resolution
Wish me luck with that.
Depending upon on your choice of spelling and punctuation: “New year’s”, “New year”, “New years’”, we could argue the toss over whether the resolution applies to:
- “New year’s eve/day” (Usually accompanied by caveats such as, “My judgment was impaired due to: festivity induced fatigue / intoxication / indifference / peer-group pressure / a wager / dare, etc.”
- A single subsequent year
- All subsequent years
In the case of the last two scenarios from the list above:
I suggest that there is a point in time when a year can no longer be deemed to be “New” and at that point in time, current “New Year” resolutions expire.
In the absence of a standard, it is reasonable that the “new” period may be “user defined” within the limits imposed by a year’s beginning and end.
A user-defined timing for “new year” may, for all intents and purposes, result in a resolution being unachievable.
So, armed with impeccable grammar and flawless logic you can be seen to be resolute for as long (or as briefly) as you see fit!
Perfect!
If you should find yourself beholden to a resolution that involves “exercise”, here is some inspiration from the irrepressible Joanna Rohrback and supporting cast:
It’s “From the heart” and appropriately called (and registered thus), “Prancercise®”
Prancercise® is low-impact, gluten-free, low carbon emission, pro-social, non-contact and ostensibly, horse-friendly.
Warning: May contain traces of nuts.. (in all forms)
It is literally incredible.
The pre-requisites are minimal and ubiquitous, for a simple and versatile workout:
- At least one other participant (preferably more) to attempt to lend credibility for the benefit of observers.
- A paddock
- Some horses
- A soundtrack comprising up-beat “Muzak” that fuses 70’s disco with 90’s EDM and sporadic strains of Motown Funk
It left me speechless.
I wondered if the horses are willing participants or stunned refugees……
Please take some time to read the video disclaimer….
“Prancercise® -Fitness with passion”
Have a great weekend and may your.:
- ..seasonal shopping be speedy, relaxing and untroubled by Prancercise® flash-mobs
- ..horses be many, robust, and unfazed by random displays of loosely-coordinated “Prancercising” in the wild
- ..festive season be safe and happy for you and yours
- ..next 376-odd sunrises bring you all, the goodness and light to which, we are entitled.
P.S. I welcome any feedback, content suggestions, quotes, entertaining images or other contributions.
I will run the copy by you before including it in the mail-out -with full credit!
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As sensitive as I am to rejection, I know I will survive, rebuild and one day, perhaps, become whole again.